Eric the Half a Bee
From "Monty Python's Previous Record"
Lyrics by Eric Idle & John Cleese
Music by Eric Idle
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(spoken)
Take it away, Eric the orchestra leader...

(A-one, two, a-one two three four)

Half a bee, philosophically,
Must ipso facto half not be.
But half the bee, has got to be,
Vis-a-vis its entity.  D'you see?
But can a bee be said to be,
Or not to be an entire bee,
When half the bee is not a bee, 
Due to some ancient injury?

(singing)
La di di, one two three,
Eric the half a bee.
A B C D E F G,
Eric the half a bee.

Is this wretched demi-bee,
Half asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie? 
No!  It's Eric the half a bee.
Fiddle di dum,
Fiddle di dee,
Eric the half a bee.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric the half a bee.

I love this hive employ-ee-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me,
I love him carnally.
(He loves him carnally)
Semi-carnally.
The end.
(Cyril Connolly?)
No, semi-carnally.
(Oh)
(whistling)

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Nicked from "The Fairly Incomplete And Rather Badly Illustrated 
Monty Python Song Book" and transcribed by John G. Wright