For some time, many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
ourselves at a loss when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!". Well,
thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual
way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertiliser
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep N. Schitt, Inc. They
had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents'
objections,
Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, the high-school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack Schitt and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living
with her, wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children,
Fulla and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and
subsequently married the two Happens brothers in a joint ceremony. The
wedding announcement in the papers happily told of the Schitt-Happens
nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the
prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned home with
his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt!", you can correct
them.