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Technical Difficulties

The Notmail service is currently experiencing technical difficulties and, as we certainly can't be fucked to fix them, you'll have to wait until we can be bothered to call out a technician.
If, by some incredible stroke of luck on our part, it is vitally important that you access this section of the Notmail service immediately, then we suggest that you abandon all hope of success now and go down the pub. Alternatively, should you have sufficient funds, a cheque of, say £500, may well be enough to get one of us off our arses to do something about the problem.

Insincere apologies abound
The Notmail Team