CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT - YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN: 

1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are. 

2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your knickers up 
in the toilets. 

3. You suddenly decide you want to start a fight. 

4. In your last trip to the bathroom you realise you now look 
more like Gail from Coronation Street than the goddess you 
were just 4 hours ago. 

5. You drop your 3am chips on the floor of AbraKebabra and 
pick them up & carry on eating. 

6. You start crying. 

7. There are less than 3 hours before you're due to start 
work. 

8. You've found a deeper side to nerdy Derek from payroll. 

9. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table 
and sing becomes strangely overwhelming. 

10. You've forgotten where you live. 

11. You start to sound like Tina Turner from the cigarettes 
you've smoked. Oh, and as you have mentioned 10 TIMES by now, you 
only smoke when you drink. 

12. You yell at the barman, who (you think) cheated you by 
giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste 
the gin. 

13. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like 
pizza.. 

14. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take 
this the wrong way but..." 

15. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on 
it. 

16 Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down 
moves. 

17. You no longer smell of Chanel No.5 and instead reek of a 
pot-pourri of vomit and Heineken. 

18. You're out-burping the lads. 

19. You just HAVE to tell your friends that you love them so 
much, just one more time. 

20. You're at a table of strangers, flashing your tits, and you 
don't remember how you got there. 

21. You're so tired so you just sit on the floor. 

22. Your handbag is dancing around YOU!