For those with no children, this is hilarious,
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious,
For those who have children at this age, this is not funny,
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning,
For those who have not yet had children, this is a form of birth control!

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: "Things I've
learnt from my children".

1.  A King size water bed contains enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house
with 4 inches of water.

2.  If you spray hairspray on a nylon duster and then run over it with
roller blades it will ignite.

3.  A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.  If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can to spread paint
on all four walls of a large room.

5.  You should no throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, as when using
the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball a few times before you
can get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a ball a long way.

6.  The glass in windows (even double glazed) doesn't stop a ball hit by a
ceiling fan.

7.  When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" it's already too
late.

8.  Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke. A lot of if.

9.  A 6 year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year
old man says that it can only be done in the movies.

10.  Certain bits of lego will go through the digestive tract of a 4 year
old.

11.  Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.  Super glue is forever.

13.  No matter how much jelly you put in a swimming pool, you still can't
walk on water.

14.  Pool filters don't like jelly.

15.  VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though commercials show they
do.

16.  Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.  Marbles in petrol tanks make a lot of noise when driving and are
expensive to remove.

18.  You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.

19.  Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like
ovens.

20.  The average response time for the fire brigade is 20 minutes.

21.  The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.  It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.  Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.  The mind of a 6 year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.

25.  60% of men reading this will try mixing the bleach with brake fluid.