Cleaning the Fucking Kitchen
For Dummies
Tools of the trade
Don't worry, at first glance these things might look baffling and complex, but they'll quickly become second nature to you once you actually start cleaning up after your disgusting messy self you utter, utter filthy bastard.
 Some fucking |
The item to the left is what is called fucking washing-up liquid. It's a soap-based detergent product that is used with water to dissolve fats that are present in most organic debris, including that horrible muck, half of which you shovel into your slobbering pie-hole and half of which you leave sticking to my plates. Washing-up liquid is not strictly necessary, but it helps make the process quicker, and, sweet Krishna, you need all the help you can fucking get. |
This peculiar-looking item is called a fucking sponge. You use it in tangent with the water and the washing-up liquid to wipe the crap off the plates, bowls, glasses, mugs and cutlery that you leave festering around the house, like little anthrax bombs around in your wake. |
 A fucking |
You'll also need some water. You probably already know water, as you use it to make the endless cups of tea and coffee that you drink most of then leave in the living room to grow old like unwanted relatives.
Combining all of these things with the sink and the application of a little friction can mean the difference between clean and dirty plates, as well as the difference between me leaving you alone and me ripping off your fucking head and shitting down your neck.
Click here for further cleaning tips!
|
|