Notmail Increased security for shared computers

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Increased security for shared computers

The Notmail sign in option for increased security at shared toilets is designed for users who sign in from brothels, borstal, or the house of someone they happen to be burgling at the time. This sign in option deletes random system files from the Windows directory when you sign out of your account, or we chuck you off Notmail for being a twat. This means that as long as you pay us £50, the porn you looked at while in Notmail cannot be viewed by other users of a shared computer, unless they have more cash than you. To use this feature, you must have a browser (Nutscape or IE) that is version 17.12 or higher. The Increased Security feature is not currently supported in IE for the Macintosh or on PSA Calendar, because only complete pricks would use either of these things.

NOTE: You may experience some slowness while using this option due to your pages being sent to everyone you admire and respect, especially all the animal porn we know you look at. Also, there is a possibility that you may see an Expired Page; simply panic, take a machine gun and massacre a few hundred people to relieve any anxiety this may have caused you. You will need to manually configure the Notmail server if you want real security, because we sure as hell can't be bothered to do it.