PSA NOTMAIL TERMS OF SERVICE (TOS)

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PSA Notmail TERMS OF SERVICE (TOS)

The following are the terms and conditions for use of the Notmail service including without limitation e-mail, instant messaging through PSA Messenger Service and other services which may be offered from time to time by Microsfot for use with your Notmail account member name (each feature individually and collectively referred to as the "Service"). Please read them carefully. This Service is provided to individuals who have at least 7 finger or who have parental permission to open and maintain an account. BY CLICKING THE "I ACCEPT" BUTTON AND COMPLETING THE REGISTRATION PROCESS, YOU ARE STATING THAT YOU ARE ELIGIBLE FOR AN ACCOUNT AND THAT YOU AGREE TO BE BOUND BY ALL OF THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF THE SERVICE ("TOS") REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT MOST OF THEM ARE A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS.

The Service is offered to you conditioned on your acceptance without modification of the terms, conditions, and notices contained herein.

1. MEMBER ACCOUNT, PASSWORD, AND SECURITY

To open an account, you must complete the registration process by providing us with current, complete and accurate information as prompted by the Registration Form. You then will be given a random password and an account name. You are entirely responsible for Notmail divulging your password and account details. Furthermore, you are entirely responsible for any and all activities that occur under your account.

You agree to notify Microsfot immediately of any authorised use of your account or anything else that could jeopardise our profits.

2. Arseport ACCOUNT

When you obtain a Notmail account, you will automatically be provided with a Microsfot Arseport account. Click here to learn more about Microsfot Arseport, its liberal commitments, and the use of your information if you chose to use your Microsfot Arseport account.

3. MEMBER PRIVACY

It is Microsfot's policy to ignore the privacy of its members. Microsfot will monitor, edit, and disclose any personal information about you or your use of the Service, including its contents, without your prior permission unless Microsfot has a good faith belief that such action is necessary. Microsfot does provide access to all user information to third parties, including its advertisers, for spamming. In addition, your Internet Protocol address is transmitted with each message sent from your account. For more information, see the PSA Notmail Privacy Statement or the Microsfot Arseport Privacy Statement.

Some personal information you provide to Microsfot may be stored in the dumpster outside of the office in which we reside.

You agree that Microsfot may access your account, including its contents, as stated above or to ignore service and technical issues.

4. MESSAGE STORAGE, OUTBOUND MESSAGES AND OTHER LIMITATIONS

The amount of e-mail storage space per member is limited to 4K, please visit our FUQ for more information. Most e-mail messages will not be processed due to space constraints or outbound message limitations. The amount of instant messaging storage space is zero and all messages will not be processed due to apathy. You agree that Microsfot is not responsible or liable for the deletion or failure to store messages or other information.

5. MEMBER CONDUCT

As a condition of your use of the Service, you warrant to Microsfot that you will use the Service for any purpose that is unlawful or prohibited by these terms, conditions, and notices.

The Service is provided to anybody who wants it and is for corporate use only. You agree to use the Service to send and receive other people's messages. Any authorised use of the Service, or the resale of its services, is expressly prohibited.

You agree to ignore all applicable local, state, national and international laws and regulations and in return, we will ignore all acts or omissions that occur under your account or password, including the content of your transmissions through the Service. By way of example, and not as a limitation, you agree to:

Use the Service in connection with surveys, contests, pyramid schemes, chain letters, junk e-mail, spamming or any duplicative or unsolicited messages (commercial or otherwise).

Defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten or otherwise violate the legal rights (such as rights of privacy and publicity) of others.

Publish, distribute or disseminate any inappropriate, profane, defamatory, infringing, obscene, indecent or unlawful material or information.

Advertise or offer to sell or buy any goods or services for any non-personal purpose.

Harvest or otherwise collect information about others, including e-mail addresses, without their consent.

Create a false identity for the purpose of misleading others as to the identity of the sender or the origin of a message.

Use, download or otherwise copy, or provide (whether or not for a fee) to a person or entity that is not a Service member any directory of the Service members or other user or usage information or any portion thereof other than in the context of your use of the Service as permitted under the TOS.

Transmit or upload any material that contains viruses, trojan horses, worms, time bombs, cancelbots, or any other harmful or deleterious programs.

Transmit or upload any material that contains software or other material protected by intellectual property laws, rights of privacy or publicity or any other applicable law unless you own or control the rights thereto or have received all necessary consents.

Interfere with or disrupt networks connected to the Service or violate the regulations, policies or procedures of such networks.

Attempt to gain unauthorised access to the Service, other accounts, computer systems or networks connected to the Service, through password mining or any other means.

Violate any applicable laws or regulations including, without limitation, laws regarding the transmission of technical data or software exported from the United States through the service.

Interfere with another member's use and enjoyment of the Service or another individual's or entity's use and enjoyment of similar services.

Microsfot has no desire to monitor the Service or any user's use thereof or retain the content of any user session. However, Microsfot reserves the right at all times to monitor, review, retain and/or disclose any information as necessary to satisfy our curiosity.

6. LINKS TO THIRD PARTY SITES

THE LINKS INCLUDED WITHIN THE SERVICE WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE THE SERVICE WEB SITES ("BROKEN LINKS"). THE LINKED SITES ARE OWNED BY Microsfot AND Microsfot IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FAILURE TO PROVIDE WORKING LINKS, OR ANY USEFUL OR CURRENT INFORMATION PROVIDED BY SUCH SITES. Microsfot IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WEBCASTING AND ANY OTHER FORM OF TRANSMISSION RECEIVED FROM ANY LINKED SITE. Microsfot IS PROVIDING THESE LINKS TO YOU ONLY AS AN ANNOYANCE, AND THE INCLUSION OF ANY LINK DOES NOT IMPLY ENDORSEMENT BY Microsfot OF THE SITE OR ANY ASSOCIATION WITH THEIR OPERATORS.

7. DISCLAIMERS/LIMITATION OF LIABILITY

The information and services included in or available through the Service include many inaccuracies and typographical errors. Changes are randomly made to the information herein. Microsfot and/or its respective suppliers will make improvements and/or changes in the Service at any time.

Microsfot knows full well that the Service will not be uninterrupted or error-free, that defects will be added, or that the Service or the server that makes it available, are swarming with viruses or other harmful components. Microsfot ensures that the use or the results of the use of the Service or the materials made available as part of the Service will not be correct, accurate, timely, or otherwise reliable.

We force you to agree that Microsfot shall not be responsible for...Lets be honest here shall we? Who actually ever reads the Terms of Service before signing up for something? I know I don't. Why they bother to pay people like me ridiculously large sums of money to write long and largely pointless documents containing all this legal bollocks is beyond me. Anyway...Service by any third party.

Microsfot AND/OR ITS RESPECTIVE SUPPLIERS MAKE NO CLAIMS ABOUT THE SUITABILITY, RELIABILITY, AVAILABILITY, TIMELINESS, AND ACCURACY OF THE SERVICE, BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, IT'LL NEVER WORK PROPERLY ANYWAY. THE SERVICE IS PROVIDED "UNWILLINGLY" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND. Microsfot AND/OR ITS RESPECTIVE SUPPLIERS HEREBY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES AND CONDITIONS WITH REGARD TO THE SERVICE, INCLUDING ALL IMPLIED WARRANTIES AND CONDITIONS OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, TITLE AND NON-INFRINGEMENT - IN LAYMAN'S TERMS, IT'S NOT OUR FAULT THAT OUR SOFTWARE FUCKED UP YOUR COMPUTER - YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE USED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE..

IN NO EVENT SHALL Microsfot AND/OR ITS SUPPLIERS ADMIT TO BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, PUNITIVE, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF USE, DATA OR PROFITS, ARISING OUT OF OR IN ANY WAY CONNECTED WITH THE USE OR PERFORMANCE OF THE SERVICE OR RELATED WEB SITES, WITH THE DELAY OR INABILITY TO USE THE SERVICE OR RELATED WEB SITES, THE PROVISION OF OR FAILURE TO PROVIDE SERVICES, OR FOR ANY INFORMATION, SOFTWARE, PRODUCTS, SERVICES AND RELATED GRAPHICS OBTAINED THROUGH THE SERVICE, OR OTHERWISE ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF THE SERVICE, WHETHER BASED ON CONTRACT, TORT, NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY OR OTHERWISE, EVEN IF Microsfot OR ANY OF ITS SUPPLIERS HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF DAMAGES. BECAUSE SOME STATES/JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF LIABILITY FOR CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, WE MAY REFUSE SERVICE TO PEOPLE IN SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES. IF YOU ARE DISSATISFIED WITH ANY PORTION OF THE SERVICE, OR WITH ANY OF THESE TERMS OF USE, YOUR ONLY CHOICE IS TO FORMAT YOUR HARD DISK AND THE HARD DISKS OF ALL FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

8. INDEMNIFICATION

You agree to hold Microsfot's parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, officers and employees, at gunpoint until we agree to reinstate your account.

9. TERMINATION

Microsfot may terminate you and your family at any time, with or without cause, with or without notice, effective immediately, for any reason whatsoever.

Microsfot may also terminate or suspend you for inactivity, which is defined as failing to do anything for an extended period of time, as determined by Microsfot. The amount of time that Microsfot currently considers as an "extended" period of time may be viewed in our FUQ. Upon your termination , your right to use the Service immediately ceases.

If you wish to terminate yourself, your best option is to attempt to sue Microsfot

10. NO SPAM; DAMAGES

Microsfot will immediately thank any account which it believes, in its sole discretion, is transmitting or is otherwise connected with any spam or other unsolicited bulk e-mail In addition, because damages are often difficult to quantify, if actual damages cannot be reasonably calculated then Microsfot agrees to pay you a reward of $5 for each piece of spam or unsolicited bulk e-mail transmitted from or otherwise connected with your account, otherwise we agree to pay your actual damages, to the extent such actual damages can be reasonably calculated.

11. PARTICIPATION IN PROMOTIONS OF ADVERTISERS

Microsfot shall not be responsible or liable for any part of any of the unsuitable adverts that we authorise for display on our service.

12. PROPRIETARY RIGHTS TO CONTENT

You acknowledge that content, including but not limited to text, software, music, sound, photographs, video, graphics or other pornographic material contained in either sponsor advertisements or electronically distributed, commercially produced information presented to you by the Service, by Microsfot, or Microsfot's Advertisers or other content providers, is freely distributable by anybody with a PC and internet access. You may make as many copies of this content for your personal and commercial use as you want, provided that you pay us $75 per copy. You may modify, copy, reproduce, republish, upload, post, transmit, or distribute in any way content available through the Service and its associated Web sites, including code and software.

13. MODIFICATIONS TO TERMS OF SERVICE, MEMBER POLICIES

Microsfot will undoubtedly and repeatedly change the TOS or policies regarding the use of the Service at any time and refuse to notify you. You are responsible for anything we want.

14. GENERAL

This agreement is governed by the laws of the State of California, and the United States of America. Use of the Service is unauthorised in any jurisdiction that does not give effect to all provisions of these terms and conditions, including without limitation this paragraph. You agree that no joint venture, partnership, employment, or agency relationship exists between you and Microsfot as a result of this agreement or use of the Service. Microsfot's performance of this agreement is subject to existing laws and legal process, and nothing contained in this agreement is in derogation of Microsfot's right to comply with governmental, court and law enforcement requests or requirements relating to your use of the Service or information provided to or gathered by Microsfot with respect to such use. If any part of this agreement is determined to be invalid or unenforceable pursuant to applicable law including, but not limited to, the warranty disclaimers and liability limitations set forth above, then the invalid or unenforceable provision will be deemed superseded by a valid, enforceable provision that most closely matches the intent of the original provision and the remainder of the agreement shall continue in effect. Unless otherwise specified herein, this agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the user and Microsfot with respect to the Service (excluding the use of any software which may be subject to an end-user license agreement) and it supersedes all prior or contemporaneous communications and proposals, whether electronic, oral or written, between the user and Microsfot with respect to the Service. A printed version of this agreement and of any notice given in electronic form shall be admissible in judicial or administrative proceedings based upon or relating to this agreement to the same extent and subject to the same conditions as other business documents and records originally generated and maintained in printed form. You and Microsfot agree that any cause of action arising out of or related to this Service must commence within one (1) year after the cause of action arose; otherwise, such cause of action is permanently barred. The section titles in the TOS are solely used for the convenience of the parties and have no legal or contractual significance.

15. LANGUAGE

If you are unable to speak English, then this sentence is of no use to you whatsoever

The companies, organisations, products, people and events - including, but not limited to, Microsfot, Notmail, The Microsfot Network, CrustE and 'you' - depicted herein are fictitious. No association with any real company, organisation, product, person, or event is intended or should be inferred.

Any rights not expressly granted herein are clearly a load of bollocks.